"I've found that I may be more awkward than I thought I was, but then I never saw anyone because I was in my room a lot. It's fine not to speak when you're on your own and to stammer and to not have eye contact but, outside, it's frowned upon." - Richard Ayoade
Hi there, as introductions go, I'm certain I've never got through one smoothly or un-embarrassingly so I wouldn't be surprised if this is not an exception. My name is Billie-Jo, I turned 19 just 5 days ago, and have very recently started at the University of Chichester, about an hour and a half, by car, from home. Whilst this distance may not seem enough for some, my transition from A-levels to Uni has been one of the most difficult I think I've faced (I cried everyday of Freshers week - I'll admit). As a very family orientated person, especially when it comes to my dogs, being so far away from home has been a very difficult challenge not only for me but my parents too (my mum cried on the first night of me leaving because at dinner, she took two plates out of the cupboard instead of three!). I'm hesitant to write just a list of things about myself, so I'll try my best to give you an insight into me and how I got to the point that I am now without sounding pompous, boring, or unbearable.
The idea of starting a blog has been one in my mind for as long as I can remember, at around 12 or 13 I started an art-themed Instagram page which garnered around 3000 followers before I deleted it just before my GCSE's. I chose art because, at the time, it was the biggest focus of my life and one that I wanted to pursue professionally. I absolutely loved my account and could see me carrying it on forever, but that period of my life was filled with a lot of stress and pain that affected how I presented myself socially and I decided to delete it because I felt it was affecting me negatively. It was also around this time that I was dabbling with the idea of starting a blog, but I had no idea how it worked and how I could initiate it so I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.
I completed my GCSE's with 8 A-A*'s, a B, and a Merit and decided to stay at the same college to pursue A-levels. This was the first difficult transition. The method of teaching and learning changed so drastically that Year 12 was an incredibly difficult year and one I don't particularly wish to re-live. I chose to study Art, English Literature, and Biology. Each time I've told someone that, I commonly get a 'wow, they're varied,' or, 'keeping doors open?'. The truth is I've never been able to decide what I want to do 'when I grow up', and have been putting off specialising my knowledge in a particular area for as long as possible. The downfall of this choice was that I felt I was being pulled in all directions trying to complete assignments and essays and scientific practical assessments and pieces of art. I felt that if I focused on one I would completely lose track of the other two - and this happened a lot. At the end of Year 12 I had to face the idea of AS exams and of applying to university; something I hadn't even coherently thought about before - I also knew very little about the process. To apply to a university, you kind of had to know what you wanted to study, and I had no idea whatsoever. From my experience in A-Level and from my own personality, I knew I wanted to go down the creative line and researched art courses, English courses, joint art AND English courses, but struggled to come to any decision - another of my faults. I spoke a lot with my mentor (perhaps biased towards English, as an English teacher aha), and had a revelation not long before the deadline that I had a dream of publishing a book. This pushed me towards English, and I threw myself into writing a personal statement, researching even more courses and, eventually, 2 days before the deadline, applying to five universities for joint honours, English and Creative Writing. This was a massive step for me, as I like to stay firmly in the centre of my comfort zone. It was also nerve-wracking as my two closest friends decided they didn't want to go to university, so in my mind, I was facing this new experience alone.
I got accepted into all 5 of the universities I applied for, and was then forced to decide which one. I had been to open days for 4 or the 5 universities, and had already ruled out two of them, but I was stuck with the others. I managed to whittle it down to two: Chichester and UEA. I came to two open days for Chichester, it was the first uni that I visited and, stereotypically, got 'the feeling', so we came back to see if I felt the same - I did. But UEA is a university that I didn't expect to get into as it's quite renowned and well-known for English and Creative Writing. Eventually my decision was made by distance, UEA is around a 4-5 hour drive from home, and judging by my reaction of just being over an hour from home, I made the right decision.
So, towards the end of Year 13 I focused primarily on English, knowing I wanted to go on to do this further. I completely flopped AS exams, getting two D's in English and biology and not having to do an exam for art at AS - I was gutted. I knew I had gotten distracted and vowed not to let it happen in Year 13. I think it also showed how difficult I found the transition. At the end of Year 13, the actual A-Level portion, I came out with an A* in English Literature, a B in Art, and a D in biology. I was admittedly disappointed with my biology result, but I didn't focus on it quite as much as the others, knowing it wasn't something I wanted to pursue academically further. Overall, I was happy. Especially with English!
I spent the summer working at the job I had for over 5 years, building a small business with my mum (which I no longer do at uni as I'm not legally allowed), and building myself as a person. I was excited for university, but as the day to move out drew nearer and nearer I was getting more and more nervous. I packed most of my stuff, and we drove to Chichester. It was a hectic day, and the goodbye was awful (many tears).
So here I am, I just got out of a lecture and seminar on Charles Darwin's 'The Origin of Species', and have (semi)spontaneously decided to start a blog.
I realise I have rambled on for too long about my educational past, which is probably very boring, but I couldn't help myself. I guess if I were reading about someone else, I'd like to know at least part of the journey they took to get to where they are now. Obviously many other things were happening over this time period - boy troubles, family dramas, my sister had two children and moved out, my brother is never moving out, highs and lows, I met new people, got out the house more, got more confident (still not very confident), but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and appreciate everything that has happened to get me to where I am today. Maybe I'll write about those things one day too.
As I went on for a long time, I've decided, contrary to my 'I don't want to write a list of things about myself' statement, I'm going to write a list.
- I have two dogs, Rusty and Judie, my third dog passed away a few months ago and it was one of the hardest things ever.
- I have an unhealthy obsession with ketchup
- My favourite colour is red, and this runs in the family right up to my great grandmother.
- I'm passionate about photography and post quite a few photos on my Instagram @billiejo_richards_(one of my birthday presents was a vintage 1940's camera that potentially still works! I'm yet to try it out and develop the photos).
- I'm obsessed with vintage, particularly the fashion - I eventually want to get the confidence to dress more and more vintage. I already do sometimes.
- Before university, I was part of two darts teams and reserve for a third - captain of one for a season too. My mum and sister started it and forced me to join to 'get me out the house'. I now have a passion for darts and have met so so so many amazing people.
- I'm in love with nature and everything about it - I also love indoor plants.
- I have an unhealthy reliance on music - any kind, and feel lost if I haven't listened to any at least once a day.
- I'm currently writing this to avoid doing an assignment due this Friday and to avoid doing my washing.
I hope you're having a wonderful day :)
Billie-Jo
